Saturday, December 25, 2010

Is there no one out there? (CONTINUED!!)

Q: Update: wow! haha, you hit the nail right on the head. My ex really did it in for me. Screwed me up. First time i had been broken up with too so i can see where my problems stem from. But what i have tried to do, because i am sort of realizing i might have this sense of never finding the perfect one, i have been trying to find girls i have never met. like blind dates. meeting girls at parties, like in different cities. Most of the time i have had some sort of connection with the girl i date. I have known her in some way. Like my ex, i dated her 3 years prior to the last time. so i am dating out of my league also. older women. wayyyy hotter women than i have ever tried. weird chicks haha. even the occasional pot smoker (blah) . maybe my strategy is too outlandish. I feel im trying to hard. but i have only had two relationships last longer than 2 weeks. and they were 2 months almost on the dot. i guess i just get bored. is there something im looking for in particular? some sort of girl i should aim for? maybe the perfect girl is right in front of me. Which she very well may be. There is this really cute girl but she is a really good friend too. But she doesnt know all my secrets and when she finds out were probably going to lose each other. Any more advice?


A: Alright, I will take it from the top. :)

The first time that you are broken up with sucks so bad, you feel like your heart is evaporating and your face is falling off. During my freshman year of college, I got broken up with by a guy and stayed in my bed, crying, for two weeks. We had not even dated for three months! Anyway, it's tough, but we all go through it. The key thing to remember, folks, is that just because someone breaks up with us doesn't mean that we're the ones with the problem. Insecurity can break a relationship, so leave your baggage at the door.

It's a great thing that you are getting out there and dating all different types of people and dating in different scenarios. Honestly, the experience that you will gain from that will serve you unbelievably well for your "Miss Right". 

However, I think I've identified another problem you have: you get bored easily. It's good that you know that, but think about this, now: are you READY for a commitment? I mean, seriously, what are you really looking for? I realize that a relationship seems fun and kinda glamorous, but it really takes a person who is ready. I'm not calling you immature, just throwin' it out there :) Do you want a girlfriend, or do you have fun dating around?

Again, my old advice stands. Don't be so eager to find Miss Right yet. Keep being selective. Keep being true to yourself. And finally, don't feel bad dating around and not loving the selection! You are young. 

--Dr. O

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