Saturday, December 25, 2010

Is there no one out there?

Q: First off. "Amateur master" totally dig it. and second, i dont know WTF is wrong with me. Im perfectly capable of finding a girl to date. Im not trying to be concieted, but im fuckin handsome. haha. but its like lately, ever since my last girlfriend actually (literally just realized this) i have been out of it. Not so much incapable, but unable; to care about relationships. But! i do contradict myself, because i rant and rave all the time about my ex's moving on or how im lonely and cold and other poetic bullshit. I obviously care!! I just dont understand, I'm a leo, im friggin outgoing. And i have proven to myself and others that when i really want a girl i can get her. But noone seems to fit the par or excite me enough to court. Yes, court, im a chivalrous mutha-fucka. SO please! do you have any insight?? consider me steeply desperate considering i merely clicked your link on facebook and immediately found your email to inquire. I'm actually mad at myself lately. It's like im ok with this static and empty life. FRICK! theres the poetic shit again.... PLEASE HELP!


A: Jake, let me start by saying that I am very pleased that you approve of my tagline. I thought it was catchy myself.

Second of all, I have no doubt in my mind that you have the ability to find suitable girls to date. I also have no doubt that you eventually want to. You say that you do care that your ex's have moved on and you also called your life "static and empty". I HIGHLY doubt that that's an accurate descriptor, but you obviously are a little unhappy! You want a woman!

What you may be suffering from, the way I see it, is either fear or dangerously high standards.
Think about the following: Did your ex hurt you? Did you have a relationship that was fraught with drama and fighting? Are you afraid that other girls are going to hurt you or cause you pain?
Or...was your ex just amazing? Did she dump you, despite you still wanting to be with her? Did she have all of the qualities that you want, but unfortunately you guys couldn't be together? Are you afraid that no other future girl is going to be able to bring the same level of "perfection" to the table?

If either of these situations sound like you, you need to consider whether you still want your ex in your life. No matter what, you cannot properly move on with another woman until you have settled feelings with your ex (aka, gotten over her). If you still want her, though, then that's a whole new can of worms...!!

However, if you feel your recent lack of excitement towards other girls has nothing to do with your ex...then you may have simply not found someone good enough. Pretty simple and not uncommon. You may also be going through a generally stressful period that hampers your energy to mingle. That's ALSO very common! I don't want you to be worried.

I am assuming you are a young man (between the ages of 18-25) you have a booooatload of time to find someone worthy to date. As bad as it sounds, the really good ones are rare, so it's kind of a good thing that nobody has "wowed" you yet. You have good tastes, my friend...

Best of luck!

--Dr. O

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