Monday, April 18, 2011

Reader question: How I get over a guy who's a "player"?

Q: How do I get over a guy who constantly reels me back in and his friends say hes a player? It seems impossible because he's so charming and we have so many similar interests that I don't think twice about other guys. HELP DR. OH!


A: Ohhh, Anon, when will we learn? When will the day come that us females finally start paying attention to the nice guys and stop swooning over the butt-heads that don't give a crap? It's understandable that people love the mystery of a charismatic badass, but only to a certain extent. A guy doesn't need to be a manipulative player to be mysterious and cool. 

The truth is, it's not as impossible as you think to rid yourself of this type of "charming fellow", especially if you start by, well, "fighting fire with fire".

That's right--ignore him. Resist his charm. Start pursuing other guys. See how he likes it. Now, I'm not suggesting that you be rude or that you rub your other male conquests in his face, but make it *subtly clear* that you aren't interested. Surround yourself with friends and immerse yourself in your personal hobbies and interests. I hate to say it, girly, but guys like this will leave you hanging for the rest of your life if you don't start by putting them out of sight and mind. 

After a period of feigning disinterest, you will really start to feel disinterested. I promise! However, you really have to focus on surrounding yourself with other people and things. He may feel like the only guy in the world right now, but he's not. There are plenty of awesome, hot guys with interests that match yours. Recognize that part of his appeal is only coming from this "badass" facade he carries and move on. Oh, and if he tries to get you back, don't fall for that! It's never gonna change--you deserve so much better than that!

Best of luck!

--Dr. O.

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