Sunday, April 3, 2011

Reader question: Why did I cheat on my boyfriend in my dream?

Q: Dear Dr. O., I am continuously having dreams about cheating on my boyfriend, and they are all too real. I wake up devastated and upset even though they're fake, but I can't help but feel like something else is going on. Why do I keep dreaming about this, I love my boyfriend and would never do this! Am I a bad girlfriend? Do I want to cheat? Is he cheating? HELPPP!


A: Hi Anon, it's funny that you ask me this. I am plagued by disturbing dreams often--it comes from having a mind that's a little too analytical. My entrance into the accounting profession has thus far served me well. ;)

Anyways, the first thing you need to do is stop worrying. Dreams are not prophecies, nor are they accurate depictions of who we are as people. As I like to say, dreams are your brain's way of talking to you. Unfortunately, it can be a poor communicator.

The truth is, if you are truly happy and satisfied with your relationship, your dreams are probably a sign of guilt over another issue--probably one that has NOTHING to do with your relationship! For example, if you have lied about something or cheated on a test lately, your subconscious could be a little unsettled and therefore could be taking it out on you using the dreams. Since you mention that you've had a lot of dreams like this lately, it could be one big thing or multiple small things. Whatever the case, think about your life and your actions as of late. If there is a looming problem, fix it. Your dreams will go away if you have less to worry about during your conscious life.

Be positive and ignore your worries about those dreams. That will help shoo them away, too.

Best of luck!

-Dr. O.

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