Monday, April 11, 2011

Reader question: I cheated on my boyfriend. Now what?

Q: It was just happen last week when his cousins, aunt, uncle, and I went skiing; but he didn't go because he had to work. We went up to the mountain, but, his cousins, and his aunt had to go back to the town with out go skiing. So another cousin who is a guy and I decided to go back later in order to go skiing and his uncle will take care of us. His cousin and I had a fun time go skiing and it led us to be too close. Actually, his cousin used to like me and he is a player, but I thought that it wouldn't happen to me because he knows that I love his cousin who is my bf. 

I don't know if it is because of it or not, but I didn't talk to my bf as much one day because he had somebody in his apartment and not really have time to talk to me. I felt lonely that night and his cousin slept next to me, then I kissed his cousin. I was kind of enjoy it but it is not as hot as my bf's. His cousin asked me for sex but I said no. I feel really guilty about it, so I told my bf. He gets pissed and mad. It is really hurt him. He is a person who cares about me a lot and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?


A: Caaake, I know that this is a tough situation for you, and it's honorable that you told your boyfriend about what happened. In my opinion, you should tell your partner about any cheating that occurs as soon as you possibly can - I know it sounds difficult, but you gotta do it, readers! Anyway, It's a good thing that you didn't have sex with this other guy. However...

You really need to evaluate how you feel about your relationship with your boyfriend. Were you really happy with him? What made you want to do something with another guy? Are you ready for a relationship? Think about it.

The simple fact is, you cheated, and you can't take it back. Unfortunately, it's pretty difficult to rebuild trust after something like this happens, and if you stay with your boyfriend you will definitely have to work very hard to rebuild that trust.

Look, people make mistakes, Caaake. It's life. I wish I could tell you things to make you feel better, but I believe that you will need to learn from this mistake. As long as you learn from it, you'll be fine. Time heals all things, including situations like this.

Think about what YOU want, then talk to your boyfriend.

Note to other readers: If you find yourself in the same situation as Caaake, please feel free to send me your original stories. My opinion is going to be a little different depending on each person's circumstances!

Best of luck!

--Dr. O.

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