Thursday, January 20, 2011

Chivalry should die.

Not really, just trying to get your attention.

Kind of.

In another one of my bouts of information ravaging, I got extremely stuck on the theme of relationship equality. Speaking as "modern woman" I must say that it's grown harder and harder for me to accept a role as someone to be taken care of, the precious prize, the "doted upon".
Let me clarify. From birth, we (women) are indirectly and directly taught to seek out men who will wait on us hand and foot and worship us like the god of a new religion. We are beaten over the head with this idea SO much that we end up pushing away perfectly good members of the opposite sex, even if they more or less live up to some pretty impeccable standards.

"More or less" is not okay for some people, though.

If a guy makes us cry once, he's not worth it. If a guy doesn't pay for every meal, he's a stingy loser. If a guy raises his voice to us, he's obviously a disrespectful fuckwad. REALLY?

Ladies, I know you've noticed this just as much as I have. I completely understand the desire to find a guy who works hard to keep you in his life, respect you, and, quite frankly, take care of you (sometimes). As women, it is undeniable that we have a natural, DNA-driven need for security. But what about the needs of men? Take away the machismo and the outer expectation to be "protectors" and they have just as many needs as us. Just like us, men love compliments, back rubs, doors opened, meal treats, and soup when they're sick. Just like us, men want a partner who can provide them with love and respect. If a guy does so much for you, don't you think he deserves that much in return?

Of course, I'm largely speaking with regards to heterosexual relationships. I'm not saying homosexual relationships aren't without their problems, but I do find that between people of the same sex there are (obviously) fewer gender-understanding-related problems. However, I still see a bit of 1950s-ish behavior among many, many same sex couples, so this paragraph is here to alert you that I'm talking to you, too! :P

The bottom line is, people, relationships are not one-sided. I believe in mutual respect and equal effort, plain and simple. 

Of course, you can take my advice however you want. If you've read any of my other posts, you know a reasonable amount about my value system and beliefs. Although I believe in a large handful of classic ideals about romance and relationships, I am no Cathy Conservative. As always, I appreciate others thoughts. 

Now go make your hubbie a sandwich ;)

--Dr. O.

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