Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Distant love--both emotionally and geographically

Q: Dear Haley, I'm unfortunate enough to be in love with a boy who lives a coast away, and I have no idea what to do about it. Do I tell him? Do I sit back while he dates other girls, talking to me about it? Ayuda me.


A: Stranded, I am assuming that this guy has little to no idea that you feel this way about him and that he assumes you two are simply friends. If he DOES know how you feel, though, it would be extremely rude for him to be discussing his romantic ventures with other people in front of you, and I would say just kick him like a bad habit. Again, though, I don't think that's the case.

The truth is, we often find ourselves falling for people with whom we could clearly never be. In your case, this man lives extremely far away. Forget the fact that he doesn't know how you feel--this distance alone is going to kill your chances of a real, lasting relationship. I am not trying to make you feel worse, but I am trying to instill some reality in you, darling. You do not want to be emotionally tangled up in someone when you know that there is little chance of it working out. There are always going to be difficult things about every relationship, but distance is a real killer.

I would strongly suggest that you start focusing on yourself, your family, your friends, and other romantic interests. If you keep pursuing an active interest in this far-away guy, you will only sink yourself into a deeper attachment that will be much harder to shake off. I PROMISE, there are a million wonderful people closer to you that will captivate you just as much as this guy did. But please, for your own sake, let go of this far-away man, romantically speaking.

Best of luck,

--Dr. O.

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