Friday, January 7, 2011

The nice guy vs. the jerk. Classic, right?

Q: hi, i like this girl, but i'm super shy, she knows i like her and i have slowly but steadily started talking to her, i'm such a big dork, i mess up so many times, but it seems like she is giving me a lot of chances, but now i think i'm doing something right finally, or maybe not, well there's this situation where she always hangs out with her friend, but he ditches her sometimes when there's an event or another girl that he'd like to be more friends with, so i talk to her sometimes when i get enough courage, and they seem close, and every now and then, i would get a chance to talk to her with him in our presence and i may have slightly ignored him from time to time, but not really, anyway he doesn't acknowledge me when i say hi, and i think he's trying to have her ditch me, idk, how should i handle this situation?


A: Nathan, I am operating on the assumption that you are fairly young. That being said, one unfortunate thing you have to understand thing about similarly young (and immature) girls: they like jerks.

Now, this is not to say that ALL girls like jerks, nor is it to say that you YOURSELF should be a jerk. After all, the kind of guys who are jerks to girls are kind of "natural" jerks who are too stupid to know how to really treat a lady.

That being said, it should not surprise you that this flaming douche wants simple to compete with you over this girl, even though he doesn't exactly treat her like a priority. If she comes to her senses, she will soon realize that you are obviously the better choice.

My advice to you is threefold. Number 1, BE YOURSELF, at all times. Don't act desperate to be with her, though. Like, don't hang out with her EVERY single time she wants to hang out. Number 2, ignore this guy. Don't try to befriend him because it's kind of a fruitless effort. You can be polite, but that's about it. Most guys have no interest in being "buddy buddy" with someone who's trying to take his girl! :) Number 3 and finally, understand that young romance is a very whirlwind and often illogical venture. Brace yourself for the fact that you may never win over this girl. If you don't, there's obviously something wrong with HER, not you. There are plenty of wonderful young women who will go crazy over you--after all, we LOVE "big dorks". :)

Best of luck,

--Dr. O.

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